Toddler temper tantrums are just a phase every parent has to deal with. So hang in there Mama!
Dealing with toddler temper tantrums can be challenging and stressful when often times we find ourselves on the verge of losing it too. They are actually a normal part of a child’s development. With limited language skills, toddlers get frustrated in trying to communicate their wants or become upset in the type of response they receive.
Learning how to deal with toddler temper tantrums can help you keep your cool and respond in the most effective way possible to help your child learn self-regulation skills that will last him or her into adulthood. Here are eight tips which I have learned and have helped me along the way in handling these outbursts.
8 Tips on How to Deal with Toddler Temper Tantrums
1) Identify & Prepare for Potential Tantrums
The best way to deal with a temper tantrum is preventing one. Identify what triggers your toddler’s tantrums and try to avoid these situations. For example, if you know that meals are often your toddler’s downfall, be sure to dine out or have snacks readily available. Be Prepared for Emergencies: It is also crucial that you have an emergency bag packed with lots of fun toys, books and activities in case of tantrum emergencies.
Give an alternative item to play with instead of the unsafe item that she wants. For example, exchange a peeler for a silicone lemon squeezer. If it is something that needs to be done eventually, have her do something else first so that she is content and come back to it later on.
2) Give Choices
Let your toddler choose, for example, what to wear or which toy to share with their sibling. They are more likely to carry out their decisions. However, give them only two choices. The more choices they have, the more confusing and frustrating it can get and they may end up not choosing any.
Also, do not ask them if they want something as a question; instead tell them that you will be doing something in a few minutes and ask if they would like to do it now or later. If you want them to take a bath, for instance, say It’s time for your bath rather than Do you want a bath? This will reduce confusion and help avoid power struggles.
3) Distract & Divert Attention
Offer or show something else to your toddler with enthusiasm. It could be pointing to another toy and describing it and asking your toddler’s opinions on it. For example, Oh look at this egg. There is a chick in it. What colour is the chick and what sound does it makes? Let us see if we can find out! You can even try singing a song or playing some music while distracting them. This will help them forget about their tantrum and redirect their attention elsewhere.
4) Stop aggressive behaviour
Any form of aggressive behaviour such as kicking, hitting, or throwing whole body to the floor, needs to be stopped immediately for safety reasons. You can give her a hug or hold her till she calms down. This may take anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes depending on how angry she is. Do not punish your child after an outburst because it will only make matters worse and lead to more tantrums in future.
5) Keep off-limit items away from sight
If your toddler is prone to temper tantrums when she does not get her way, it is best to keep off-limit items away from sight. If you do not want your child playing with sharp objects, pots and pans or climbing kitchen counters, hide them out of reach. Ensure off-limit items are well hidden and could not be seen even if they are on hard-to-reach open places. My toddler will most definitely find a way to get her hands on it or start a tantrum if unable to.
6) Keep calm & avoid yelling
It is easier said than done. But in those intense moments, keep reminding yourself the regret you will feel the second you start yelling and how your toddler may become more upset. By remaining calm and composed, you are setting a good example of how to handle anger.
Do not reward the bad behaviour. If your child throws a tantrum because he does not want to wear his coat, do not give in and take it off. Instead, say something like, I understand that you do not want to wear your coat right now but we have to go outside for our walk.
7) Give in to the tantrums but with limits
If your child is throwing a tantrum, there is probably a reason they are upset. Try sitting with them and finding out what they need or what they are trying to tell you. Kids want things when they throw tantrums, so try and find out what it is before giving in.
Only in certain situations do you ever give in to the tantrums. If the only way they will brush their teeth is by watching a cartoon video, I will tell my toddler, Okay let’s brush our teeth for ten minutes. Once the ten minutes are up, I will say, Okay we’re finished. Its 10 minutes already. Time to off the handphone. My toddler will immediately push away the handphone or press the lock button.
8) Walk away & ignore
Try walking away and ignoring them for a few minutes whilst ensuring they are going to be safe. By not paying attention, you are indirectly showing that you will not entertain their undesirable behaviour until they have cooled down. It also shows them that there are consequences for acting out of line and so helps teach them self-control in future situations.
Conclusion
Toddler temper tantrums are an essential developmental stage. Try not to take your toddler’s flare-ups personally nor think that you are a bad parent. As exasperated you can be in dealing with tantrums, know that your toddlers will outgrow them one day and they will just be fleeting memories. Hang in there Mamas!
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On top of dealing with toddler tantrums, do you also have a newborn baby to care for or are expecting one on the way? Do check out these 8 tips on how to manage both a toddler and a newborn baby too.
