After researching and reading up on all things about babies, you would have thought to be prepared enough to go through this wonderful journey called motherhood. However, nothing beats experiencing it firsthand on what it is really like after childbirth. Only then will we know the reality of the matter. Here are 10 things I wish I knew before having a baby.
1) The Amount of Sleep Deprivation
Nothing can prepare you for the sheer amount of sleep deprivation. One of the hardest things about being a mom is that sleep is so hard to come by. Adjusting to waking up multiple times at night to feed baby is tough. You will feel that you shall never sleep again but you will one day.
Try to nap when baby naps during daytime or get your partner to do one of the night feeds so you can get some uninterrupted sleep.
2) Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, Anger & Loneliness
The roller coaster of emotions you feel will be tremendous, especially if you have a newborn and a toddler. Postpartum depression and anxiety are both very common, and they can lead to feelings of anger and loneliness. One minute you are happy and grateful, the next thing you feel sad, nervous, full of self-doubt and lonely.
The ability to sleep undisturbed can make one irritable too. Being prepared for the physical, psychological and emotional changes that will occur helps you as a new expectant mother. After a while of learning how to care for baby, you will slowly become more confident into your new role as a mother.
3) Breastfeeding is Painful & Hard
It takes a lot of practice, perseverance and patience to breastfeed. The excruciating pain when baby feeds from sore nipples can last for weeks. Not to mention the ‘pins and needles’ tingling sensations you will feel every now and then. But one day, the pain will suddenly magically disappear as they healed and toughen up through countless feeding sessions.
Your nipples will also get bigger and your breasts will change shape. This is very normal and does not mean that you have failed breastfeeding. It’s just a sign that your body has adjusted to the needs of baby, and it is fine to expect some changes in the way things look in your bra.
4) Disconnected with baby
With the little sleep you have, childrearing and household duties to keep up, you cannot help but feel disconnected with baby now that your hands are fuller and busier. The good news is that there are ways to still connect with baby with just a few minutes a day in the beginning.
You can still do skin-to-skin contact, even if you are too tired to get up and be next to baby all day. You can also try baby-wearing your baby to sleep, reading them books, singing to them, and talking to them about things you are doing during the day. Eventually, you will find the momentum, have some sort routine to make things work and have a bond with your baby.
5) Cluelessness
In the early stages, you feel clueless as to what you should be doing with baby after bringing them home. The first six months are going to have you feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted as you learn all the basics. You will get the hang of baby’s eat, wake, sleep and repeat cycle.
6) Feelings of Overwhelm
When reality starts to sink in that you now have a baby who is dependent upon you 24/7, it does get overwhelming. You will start to question yourself if you are capable to be a good mother and parent. It is normal to feel this way. As you gain exposure in caring for your little one, you will be more self-assured in your ability to be the parent that your child deserves.
For a lot of people, the baby’s first year is like a blur and this is completely normal. The more you learn about parenthood and how to care for your child, it becomes easier. If you find yourself struggling, just remember that this too will pass; it just takes time.
7) Trust your Instincts
Sometimes the best solutions for your baby might not come out from the textbook. It comes from your own experience as you spend more time with baby. If you feel uneasy about something, always trust your instincts. Do what you think is right for your baby. Whatever you do, be consistent and firm.
Babies have this amazing ability to learn when they see how you react in certain situations. If mom and dad are calming down every time baby wakes up at night and has a hard time settling back down, baby will learn to calm down too.
8) It Takes Longer to Heal the Second Time Round
After your first childbirth, you will most likely feel better after about a week or two and you can be up and about with daily life with ease. For your second childbirth however, it may take you months to feel like your normal self. Your body has taken a toll on each pregnancy, from the stretch marks to the weight gain. Take it easy on yourself to gradually speed up the healing process.
9) Take Others Advice with a Pinch of Salt
Your family and friends will want to impart all of their knowledge about babies. Acknowledge and thank them for their advices but ultimately you decide which information you want to follow and which to discard for raising your baby.
10) Life Is Different with a Baby
Every decision you make will now revolves around baby. From getting things done at home, going out to places to running errands and doing school runs if you have older children. You will need to think and plan how to manage them all with a baby.
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Be sure to check out these 10 productivity tips for stay/work at home mothers too.
